XD

Anyways, I moved to another one anyways, because the other one is pretty badass on its features.

http://noirhero.tumblr.com/

Yes, I’m very excited I fell into your trap. :] It adds more fun!

Yes, I am a stupid idiot. Being a stupid idiot seems to be the only way to get onto the TV show Jackass, and it’s one of my dreams to meet Bam. :] Being a stupid idiot makes life more fun too. :]

L out.

Ahem. It seems like I lost myself for a moment there. AHHAHAHHAHAAA, AHAHHAHA! BAHAHHAA, WAHAHHAHA, GAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA!

WAY TOO PREDICTABLE, ONCE AGAIN, AHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAHA.

Anyways, been doing homework. Gotta get back to studying!

L out.

Well, to get on with my life (you’re so selfish, L), I’ve been trying to reread the Maximum Ride series. Still on the first one, The Angel Experiment-and sadly, James Patterson has NO idea how to write a book, develop characters, and even make things make sense. The only reason I read it is because Fang and Izzy are badass and because I’d love to have wings so I could fly across the world. Still, the first two books are still better than the rest of the series…Still, though, I hate the dog Total. He’s such a whiny bitch. >.> I wish I could chuck him out a window, so he could die.

Yeah, to me, he’s that annoying.

Now, school’s starting tomorrow and Spring Break ’10 will end. Still, I had a good time and this week was one of the best weeks I’ve ever had. :] My friends and cousins were all very welcoming and I can’t wait until Summer Break ’10 begins. I’ve actually planned out my whole summer and thankfully, I have free time in between my SAT Prep, summer school (to speed up on my credits, I’m not failing), Driver’s Ed, Track Camp, library volunteer hours, and my journalism workshop. I’ll have a social life over the summer, hooray!

Gotta get back to reviewing for school.

L out.

Well, yesterday we (L Bloo, D Ford, L Mc, D Agler, C Meyer and I) went bike riding again around town. It’s become almost like a routine-we meet up at the meeting point at around 4 or 4:30. We then head over to Market Street so some of us can recover from the bike ride-some of us have to endure tons of hills and another has to go straight to the meeting point right after track practice. At Market Street, we buy a couple of drinks (no, not beer, water or some other carbonated drink) and head off to McDonald’s for a quick meal. More like, the others buy food and I sit there. McDonald’s is absolutely horrible. >.<

After McDonald’s, we get on our bikes again and head over to the park-which is about 3 or 4 miles away from McDonald’s. Once we hit the park we bike on over to the rope-swing and stream and have an adventure. :] Which, of course, they tell me to videotape in a documentary-like fashion. -.- Being banished to the other side of the stream just to videotape the others fighting is getting a bit old. However, it’s the normal routine, and at around 8 (when it gets dark, parents seem so worried about us biking in the dark) we go home. First we drop off L Mc since she lives the closest, then we part ways with D Ag, and normally L Bloo goes with D Ag but lately he’s been joining D Ford and I when we bike home. I leave L Bloo and D Ford and go to my house, head up to my room and upload the pics and videos from that day.

It’s a cycle, but I like it. I get to hang out with my friends, the ones who really make me happy. :] And, actually, D Ford, C Meyer and L Mc are people that go to another school (I’ve met them a long time before this, don’t worry) and they make me feel like they’re the kind of friends who would take care of me if I got hurt. Yeah, sure, maybe they’d laugh but they’d quickly make sure I’d be alright. I actually have friends who wouldn’t do anything/wouldn’t know what to do if I got hurt. Literally.

Surprisingly though, none of my bike friends are Asian like I am. Maybe it’s better if I don’t hang out with Asians anymore. They don’t make me feel happy at all. :/ And none of them like physical activity, like I do.

My new little ‘bike gang’ (as we like to call it, none of us wear helmets so we can’t ride on the street. We end up having to form a long line on the sidewalk, and I have to admit, we look quite formidable) is formed of people who are just like me. They’re all really smart too(well, D Ford isn’t academically skilled but she’s rather street-smart). L Mc is actually ranked 5 out of her whole class. L Bloo is rank 19, and of course, there’s my lame little rank 24…They have the same interests that I do, they laugh at the same things I laugh at, we all enjoy being with one another even though we argue sometimes-they’re the perfect family, more so than my Asian family (my real family and friends) have.

Sure, my Asian friends are amazing and all, but I don’t have anything in common with them anymore. I’m not as smart as them, they hate physical activity, they tend to have some obsession with Korean dramas…I don’t fit in with them anymore. And I don’t hang out with them as much as I usually do.

R Ger, L Bloo, A Friend, E Klimpel, T Brad, D Ag, C Meyer, L Mc, D Ford…They’ve been better friends to me in a day than my Asian friends have been to me in a year, I’ve just realized. I guess…I’m just not as Asian as I thought I was. They don’t see things the way I and my bike gang do. Maybe it’s better if I just stop being friends with Asians entirely, and I’m pretty sure most of my Asian friends would be happy if I didn’t exist anymore. Yeah…It’ll be no problem to cut them off.

D Ford is willing to hang out with my any day. R Ger is always there for me, even if I push them away. L Bloo is always loyal and faithful, no matter what I do. A Friend, E Klimpel, T Brad, D Ag-they’re people I’ve only known for months but feel like I’ve known them for years, and they’re always willing to have fun, even if it’s just for a little while. Even T Runde and B Ward, when they found me bawling my eyes out at a football game, they came over and hugged me and told me it’d be alright, even though they had no idea what had happened and I barely even talked to them when I saw them in class. They came and talked to a person they barely knew who was crying and sniffling and comforted them. These are people who I can relate to, people who I know will take me in if I don’t have a place to stay. These are people who are true friends.

Yet, with my Asian friends…It’s like they don’t care anymore. To me, I feel like they don’t even know what to do when it comes to friends. Sure-they may know everything about their family and love them to death, but it’s as if friends are just a side distraction.

Friends are not a freakin’ distraction. They’re your family too, whether you like it or not. They’re the people you spend everyday at school with, everyday on Facebook with, everyday of the school year with them-yet you treat them like they’re nothing. They’re more than that. They’re people who have feelings and histories-just like your real family. And you know what I noticed? When someone in your family has a problem, you rush to them to help. When one of your friends has a problem, you just say “Oh, I’m sorry” and walk away. I’ve noticed that with a LOT of my Asian friends and it’s as if they don’t even know what the hell a friend is, but they know the concept of family?

What the hell? What the hell, man.

I discovered a while ago (Yes, Jennifer Nguyen, if you’re reading this, this refers to your little 15 year-old cousin that I’m classmates with. Go ahead and tell her about this, I don’t care anymore. You know what? SHOW THIS TO EVERYONE, GO AHEAD. Let’s see if you fall for my bait, like you did last time.) that one of my Asian ‘friends’ holds family in a higher level than they do friends.

To me, family and friends look like this:

FAMILY|FRIENDS

To my Asian ‘friend’, it looks like this:

FAMILY

|

|

|

FRIENDS

Aren’t friends suppose to be on the same level as family? If you’re Asian and you’re reading this, to me, you’re nothing if you say “no” to this question. Are friends just objects to you? Is that it? Hell, you hold the dogs and cats in your family probably in a much higher level than friends. Are you just going to toss them away like tissues when you’re done using them and having your fun? Are you just going to abandon them when it’s time to move on to another school? Is that it? Is that what you’re going to do?

Yeah, but you know what? When you read this, you’re most likely going to try and talk to me and be all innocent and defensive with that stupid expression of yours and say “L, that’s a stupid idea. I care about my friends too.”

WELL PROVE IT, DUMBASS. MATERIAL GIFTS ARE NOT SAYING YOU’RE DAMN FRIENDS. IT JUST SAYS “I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU THIS BECAUSE I HAVE TO”, NOT “I’M GIVING YOU THIS AND I REALLY HOPE YOU’LL LIKE IT, BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU’D LIKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT’D REMIND YOU OF THAT ONE TIME’. PROVE TO ME THAT YOU ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT FRIENDS, NOT JUST YOUR FAMILY.

Would you cry if your best friend died? No, no, you sure as hell wouldn’t. You wouldn’t give a shit about anyone at all. BEING FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE IS FOR THE EXPERIENCES AND MEMORIES YOU HAVE TOGETHER, THE GOOD AND THE BAD. THEY’RE NOT JUST OBJECTS YOU THROW AWAY ONCE YOU’RE DONE WITH THEM. THEY’RE REAL PEOPLE, JUST LIKE YOUR DAMN FAMILY.

What’s funny is that I actually might have one Asian friend like me. Where friends and family are on the same level. It’s too bad they go to another school. Yeah, it’s great, having the one person who could possibly be like you in tons of ways go to another school. WHOOP-DEE-DOO. LIFE SUCKS, L. SUCK IT UP.

You never gave a crap for anyone in the whole world except yourself and your family. That’s what I think. You never did and never will.

L out.

EDIT: Oh, I know what you’re thinking. L’s a coward for not saying all this to their face. Well, for one, L in the Death Note manga barely ever shows his face before the real storyline gets going, and two, they wouldn’t care if I did. But alright, fine. I’ll tell them this to their face. Also, this a damn blog, as someone pointed out earlier. If I’m a coward, why would I post my blog for the whole damn world to see?

I was not aware that people ACTUALLY read this. I never thought people would literally go to my Facebook profile, click the link to this blog of mine, and actually READ all of this. That’s just astounding. I was under the impression that I was so insignificant, that people would just pass by this blog like the million of other blogs out there. Considering people actually read this…it’s-

And actually, now that I think about it’s…Kinda creepy. o.o

And just to test this out, I have a Tumblr right here, just to post all the curious and funny links I find on the Interwebz. My Tumblr is more…for the laughs, I guess. This blog is more of a “I WANT TO RANT TO SOMEONE WITHOUT THEM ACTUALLY TALKING TO ME” kinda blog.

AND I WAS NOT AWARE THAT THE NGUYEN FAMILY ACTUALLY READ THIS….NOW, THAT’S JUST A BIT CREEPY…I ORIGINALLY MADE THIS WORDPRESS SO I COULD FOLLOW MY FRIEND’S BLOG, BUT NOW THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THIS…

I find that really awesome. ^.^ People laugh at me all the time, so I don’t mind people laughing at my blog. :] I hope it makes their day, reading my problems and excitements and hopes and dreams. :]

Now, anyways, the last few days I’ve been bike riding with my close friends L Bloo, D Agler, D Ford, and L Mc. S Ro was here for one day too, as was C Meyer. They’re all great people, wonderful people to be around if you want a couple of good laughs and a hilarious day. :] We went bike riding around my whole town, then went to the local park. We found a rope tied to a tree over a stream and decided to do some rope-swinging…Except that it’s awfully scary and frightening, but the adrenaline rush IS AMAZING. As is the small waterfall next to it. The stream’s unfortunately extremely cold [what do you expect, it's the end of winter] and I couldn’t feel my feet when I had to walk across it. :/

D Ford has a knack of getting herself into bad situations. First, she was rope-swinging and she let go…And fell into the stream. Second, she got hit by a car while trying to bike across the street. Third, she was dragged and rolled down a cliff. Fourth, she was riding her bike and fell into some very rough sand that was filled with very large rocks. Yeah, she seems to be a danger magnet.

Going along with danger magnet, C Meyer managed to fall into the stream too while rope-swinging. Then, of course, he arrived early to the meeting spot and I had the feeling he was going to get mugged, just standing there alone on the street corner-he didn’t get mugged, but his other friend found him and started beating him with a branch/stick.

Hm…anything else? Oh, yes, I forgot to say I have new books. Two of them I’ve read a long time ago, though. Those two are the first two books in the series of Maximum Ride-after the third book, the series went downhill. I loved the first two. :] Actually had a nice story.

The other books were The Choice by Nicholas Sparks, The New Kid by Temple Matthews, and Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen. I read Lock and Key, and it’s not that bad. It just reminds me of a lot of things that I don’t particularly like. o.x I read the New Kid, and it’s a great read. Not the greatest book in the world, but it’s one to get you hooked. Still reading The Choice, and so far it’s alright.

That’s all for now, I guess. Tomorrow I’m going to a science museum! I haven’t been to one since my DC trip in 5th grade…

L out.

My homey. She just doesn’t know it yet.

Well, I managed to snag an extra ticket from my friend to go to her concert tomorrow night.

Thing is, though, is that I might not be able to get a ride. So, like, I might be screwed. o.x I’m currently on the hunt for someone to drive me about the half hour it takes to get to the concert place. Still, though, I GET TO SEE MY FAVORITE IDOL!

She’s so nice. Her twitter’s funny too! You guys should follow it here. She’s a sweet person with a good heart, which is why I’m looking forward to seeing her.

If I could just get a ride, now.

L out.

You know the people who’ve you been friends with a super long time, but then they start slowly changing and you grow apart? But you keep hoping and wanting to hang out with them like the old times, even though you know that’s never going to happen again, and your hopes are crushed once more when they say they can’t hang out. And then eventually you and the people keep growing more and more apart until there’s not much left from before. And you don’t even know who they are anymore.

I can accept that. Yeah, I can accept that.

That doesn’t mean I still don’t mourn and feel sad inside at what was lost after all that time as friends. Was all of those fun times…just nothing? Why were we ever friends?

I understand that times goes by, etc etc people change, etc etc and I can’t stop that from happening. Yes, I completely understand the reasons of why I am feeling this and why this is happening. So there is no need to tell me “you can’t stop time” and etc. I understand why this is happening. There is no need to repeat it to me.

If we were just meant to grow apart, then what’s the point of being friends and feeling the pain of being hurt when you see them gradually fade away from your life? And then the two of you are so different that you can’t even recognize each other anymore. Does that ever happen to any of you guys? How does it feel? To know that the person you used to be so close to, is now gone…And then you try so hard to cling onto those memories of when you and them were together and having fun and just being relaxed and just having a good time. Is…that how it feels to miss someone?

And then it’s worse when you know they don’t even care anymore. Do you ever think that they miss the old times too? :[ I wished I could tell them this, but then of course, you know that they’ll just blow it off because they don’t have enough time to listen to your complaints.

Yeah, yeah…I’ll just suck it up and deal.

L out.

So cute.

Absolutely adorable. And today, I drew a panda. It was pretty awesome, but now I’m drawing a dino for R Ger. They happen to like dinosaurs, specifically velociraptors-but my drawing skills aren’t pwn enough to draw real velociraptors, so I stick to my current doodle-art skill level. It’s enough to create something that’s recognizable. :]

Love Gives Me Hope is a nice website too.

I’m getting back into drawing, it seems. I’m going to try and draw pictures that will make people happy. :] I like seeing their happy face when I show them something I’ve drawn that they think is really cute, so I’ll be trying to draw from now on and most likely I’ll post up my new art in a separate tab when I get around to it.

I’m still busy with other school work, got a map test over Sub-Saharan Africa on Tuesday, then gotta read my Human Geography chapter…Yeah. I’ll try and balance out drawing and studying and doing work, and I’m trying not to look at my grades online too much-it makes me feel too depressed. :/ I’ll just work really hard in all my classes and hope that I have an A, or A+.

L out.